How To Survive the Loss of A Loved One
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Death, suicide, and murder are not things that just happen on the news. They happen to real people, real families, and real friends every single day and possibly have hit your home as well. Although this subject may bring up fear or anxiety and whether or not you have experienced the passing of someone or not please read on. You are opening yourself up to healing in doing so or by absorbing the healing presence that someone around you might need to have.
Whoever they were to you and whatever they did or had happen is incredibly hard to deal with, I know. Although you may be in a one of the multitude of states that occur after losing someone I urge you to continue reading. Many people, like myself, have dealt with the emotions surrounding loss for years because we weren’t sure how to process the change. Through my experience I would like to offer advice in knowing that you can work through this. I promise you there is always light at the end of that dark and seemingly unending tunnel when you begin to flow with the change.
My Story & Why I Know What You Are Going Through.
My father passed away during my first two months away from home. I had just move 1,500 miles away to attend school in Florida. In an instant my glorious freshman year was drowned. I was in shock, couldn’t breath, fell to the ground and almost passed out when my sister hysterically ripped the phone from the cop who had called to tell me the news. “Dad is dead, Dad killed himself!” she yelled. Between her sobs I lost all of reality surrounding me. It was just me, the tile floor of my dorm, and my phone glued to my face. Nothing else existed in my auditory world, but her sobs and the chaos I could hear in the background of my childhood home in Maine.
I packed everything I had just recently moved to college with. Time blurred by and before I knew it I was in Maine stepping off a plane to see my mother in hysterics as I arrived at the gate. I was back home, a place that should bring joyful hugs and the anticipation of home cooked meals, as a college student. Instead it had turned into a place of darkness, a place to be avoided at all cost, a place barren, and it has remained that way, for me, for the past five years. It remained this way because I didn’t know how to deal with the emotions that were overwhelming me during this intense time of change. Instead of working with them I resisted them.
This is hard work.
I am not here to tell you that healing from someone passing is easy, because by all means it is not. As discussed, in my blog How to Create Positive Growth, through these dark emotional times comes exponential positive growth if directed with gratitude. Acknowledge that there are forces in this Universe working to make you wiser and that this tough situation will do just that. These circumstances have the potential to open your mind to a broader scheme of life and how to live it vivaciously, if you welcome it and all its emotional baggage with a GRATEFUL heart.
I know you don’t believe it is that easy.
I know you wish you had called that person.
I know you think this feeling will never, ever end.
I know you wish you could have known and helped them.
I know you. I feel you. I have been you. Practicing gratitude saved me.
“Emotions are how your mind, body, and soul process change. ”
Do not try to bypass the phases that come after a death by pushing emotions away and thinking that, that is a way of dealing with them. These phases and emotions are there for a reason, so feel them, ride those waves of change and become grateful for their presence. They are how your mind, body and soul process the change and rebalances in this new life scheme. Let these emotions do their job and be GRATEFUL for them. I know they feel like they rip through you and tear you apart, but there is a seamstress waiting on the other side to sew you back together no matter how little your pieces become.
Don't Give Up Hope
It may take years, months, weeks or days. Just let go of that need to hold your reality in place the way it was before that person passed away. On the other side of this everything will be changed, but it will also be okay. Remember that your life is not falling apart rather, it has just formed into something new, something you have never experienced and therefore cannot understand yet. This experience is here to help you. Just as everything else in your life has made you grow, this will too. Your mind, body and soul are smart. Trust them and believe that this experience, that person and your emotions, are surrounding you for the purpose of advancing your time here on Earth. From this experience you will learn things to become an even wiser you. Everything is going to be okay I promise.
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I send all my love to you. Everything will be okay you beautiful, beautiful soul.